It's Good To Be A Guy

• Your last name stays put
• The garage is all yours
• Wedding plans take care of themselves
• Chocolate is just another snack
• You can be president
• You can wear a white T-shirt in the rain
• Car mechanics tell you the truth
• You don't give a r*** a** if someone notices your new haircut
• The world is your urinal
• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky
• Same work...more pay
• Wrinkles add character
• Wedding Dress $5000; Tux Rental $100
• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them
• The occasional well-rendered belch (etc!) is practically expected
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
• Your pals can be trusted never to ask you: 'So, notice anything different?'
• One mood, ALL the d*** time
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
• You can 'do' your nails with a pocket-knife
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase
• You can open your own jars
• Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind
• You can leave the motel bed unmade
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
• If someone forgets to invite you to something he/she can still be your friend
• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack
• Everything on your face stays its original colour
• Three pairs of shoes is more than enough
• You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: 'He must be mad at me'
• You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift
• You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours
• You almost never have strap problems in public
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes
• The same style lasts for years, maybe decades
• You don't have to shave below your neck
• Your belly usually hides your big hips
• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 mins

It's Good To Be A Man